Today is my first day off in 19 days. I have been working hard digging out of the hole left by several months of virtual, and then official, unemployment.

I come back to this blog humbled and filled with a new appreciation for the things that I have and my ability to earn a living for myself and my family.

It’s been a rough and punishing trip, but I’ve learned a few things, and I intend to go forward with a new sense of purpose, and to live my life with greater intention and direction. No more waste. No more indecision. No more fear. No more procrastination.

6 months ago I prayed that God would make me a stronger and better person. Practically the next day, work dried up, and life got really, really hard. I was thrown, so to speak, into a financial and emotional meat grinder.

For a time my confidence and pride kept me from admitting that I could fail. But as the weeks passed by without success, my faith in myself began to crack and break away, and at some point I realized with terrifying clarity that I am not invincible. I am, in fact, a mere speck in the universe and that my existence is preserved only through the grace of God.

Each day that we live is a gift from God, and something that we have no power to create ourselves.

Today, I realize that though I don’t always deserve it, God blesses and takes care of me (his undeserving and rebellious child). I also know that the last 6 months of soul crushing hardship was an answer to a prayer. It was a tough pill to swallow but it had the desired effect. It has made me a better person!

And the prayers for help that I cried out out on those dark nights he answered too. And through hard work and with God’s help, I am nearly out — out of that great pit. But I needed God to line things up and make a path for me. I still do.

Sorry if I’m sounding preachy. But looking around at the world today, it’s seems like maybe a little more preaching is needed. You can get your fix of mindless crap on “The Family Guy” later if that’s what you think you need.

I know God hears and answers prayers. He knows what you need. He knew that what I needed was a good solid butt kicking, and he loved me enough to give it to me when I asked for it. And when I couldn’t take it any more, I cried out to him for relief, and he gave it to me, but only after I relented in my stubborn pride and admitted that I couldn’t do it myself — that I needed his help.

I needed to be shown that I am capable of failure. (Not that I have never failed at anything — I have; but I always thought that my failures were simply due to not giving 100 percent, a personal choice which I could change if I wanted.)

I had to be forced down to the floor despite all my efforts before I could see that I can’t always win every battle on my own. Intellectually I knew it, but I never really believed it in my heart.

Now I do.

Going forward I am and will be more grateful for the blessings in my life, and I know that I need to prepare for the future and have a relationship with God, who is the only one who can truly save me. Nothing I have ever done has been by my own hand, but by his hand, because were it not for him, I wouldn’t have a hand at all. He has given it to me.

No doubt, times will get tough again. Rough roads lie ahead. Don’t be like me and think it can’t happen to you. Prepare for it, and be ready.

Get to know God. He loves you, and will help you when you need it.

It’s new year — 2010 — lets do this one right!

-Paul

I read a “Public Forum Article” (letter to the editor, I guess) today on The Salt Lake Tribune website. I should have known better — The SL Tribune has a knack for making my blood boil with rage and I am usually smart enough to keep away, however the headline pulled me in, and against my judgment I read it, and now I’m mad.

The “Article” complains about the LDS church, specifically the decision to post new signs on Temple Square informing the public that Temple Square is privately owned property.

The signs were posted in response to a previous incident in which a church security officer forcibly escorted two homosexual blockheads from Temple Square because they were drunk and refused to stop being romantic with each other on the temple grounds in front of God and everyone else.

The church was criticized for being hostile and overstepping its authority. Editorial reporting by biased media outlets (Tribune included) didn’t help matters much.

So in response, the church has thoughtfully decided to remind the public that they are on private property while visiting Temple Square and that being there is not a right.

The so called Article in the Tribune — clearly written by someone of limited intelligence, attacks the church (yet again), calling it laughable, deplorable, arrogant, and hypocritical.

Of course, the article inspired a litany of rude comments from mindless antagonists and morons of epic imprudence who’s sole desire in life appears to be to publicly attack the church. They complain endlessly about how the church runs everything, discriminates against everyone, and preaches fairness and acceptance while practicing the opposite, blah, blah, blah… Oh give me a break! Somebody call the whaaaaaaaaambulance.

It’s interesting to note how much hatred and intolerance is directed towards the church by people who are supposedly champions of tolerance and acceptance. Talk about hypocritical.

So here’s my take, and what I wrote in the comments section for their filthsome, loathsome article:

“It’s one thing to be homosexual, it’s another thing to go into a place and act in a way that offends and upsets those around you and then expect to be welcomed with open arms.

If I came into your house and behaved in a rude and disrespectful way, offended your family, and displayed a total lack of sensitivity and a brazen disregard for the sanctity of your home, you would probably throw me out, and rightfully so!

The LDS church has been forced into this position by the acts of an inconsiderate few. If you don’t like the traditions of the LDS church — which settled the SLC valley and was here long before you — then stay home or find somewhere else to go where people don’t care if you act like a jerk.

But, if you insist on being a thorn in the church’s crown, then don’t expect to be welcomed. It’s as simple as that.

When I come to your house, whether or not I agree with your beliefs and traditions, I will be respectful and behave myself. Can’t you do the same?

All it takes is a brain, folks! (…short supply around here…)”

I’m sure I’m being flamed at this very moment, but hey: when evil hates you, you’re on the right track.