Today is my first day off in 19 days. I have been working hard digging out of the hole left by several months of virtual, and then official, unemployment.

I come back to this blog humbled and filled with a new appreciation for the things that I have and my ability to earn a living for myself and my family.

It’s been a rough and punishing trip, but I’ve learned a few things, and I intend to go forward with a new sense of purpose, and to live my life with greater intention and direction. No more waste. No more indecision. No more fear. No more procrastination.

6 months ago I prayed that God would make me a stronger and better person. Practically the next day, work dried up, and life got really, really hard. I was thrown, so to speak, into a financial and emotional meat grinder.

For a time my confidence and pride kept me from admitting that I could fail. But as the weeks passed by without success, my faith in myself began to crack and break away, and at some point I realized with terrifying clarity that I am not invincible. I am, in fact, a mere speck in the universe and that my existence is preserved only through the grace of God.

Each day that we live is a gift from God, and something that we have no power to create ourselves.

Today, I realize that though I don’t always deserve it, God blesses and takes care of me (his undeserving and rebellious child). I also know that the last 6 months of soul crushing hardship was an answer to a prayer. It was a tough pill to swallow but it had the desired effect. It has made me a better person!

And the prayers for help that I cried out out on those dark nights he answered too. And through hard work and with God’s help, I am nearly out — out of that great pit. But I needed God to line things up and make a path for me. I still do.

Sorry if I’m sounding preachy. But looking around at the world today, it’s seems like maybe a little more preaching is needed. You can get your fix of mindless crap on “The Family Guy” later if that’s what you think you need.

I know God hears and answers prayers. He knows what you need. He knew that what I needed was a good solid butt kicking, and he loved me enough to give it to me when I asked for it. And when I couldn’t take it any more, I cried out to him for relief, and he gave it to me, but only after I relented in my stubborn pride and admitted that I couldn’t do it myself — that I needed his help.

I needed to be shown that I am capable of failure. (Not that I have never failed at anything — I have; but I always thought that my failures were simply due to not giving 100 percent, a personal choice which I could change if I wanted.)

I had to be forced down to the floor despite all my efforts before I could see that I can’t always win every battle on my own. Intellectually I knew it, but I never really believed it in my heart.

Now I do.

Going forward I am and will be more grateful for the blessings in my life, and I know that I need to prepare for the future and have a relationship with God, who is the only one who can truly save me. Nothing I have ever done has been by my own hand, but by his hand, because were it not for him, I wouldn’t have a hand at all. He has given it to me.

No doubt, times will get tough again. Rough roads lie ahead. Don’t be like me and think it can’t happen to you. Prepare for it, and be ready.

Get to know God. He loves you, and will help you when you need it.

It’s new year — 2010 — lets do this one right!

-Paul

There are few things in life that have given me as much joy as the marvelous invention of Radio.

This love affair goes way back to my childhood when I would lay in bed late at night with my first transistor AM radio playing softly under my pillow. Tuning around the dial I would listen to dozens of different broadcasts from all over the western US while the rest of my family slept.

For me, it was truly amazing to learn about the world outside of my tiny little home town in rural Utah. I could hear traffic reports from Los Angeles, talk shows from Denver, news from places I’d never seen and thought I never would. Broadcasts from distant places streamed into my pillow with amazing messages from afar. So many things I heard and learned about on those nights.

There were no internet connections back then. Hardly anyone had a computer — my radio was my connection to the rest of the universe. And it was a good one!

In my early teens, my favorite broadcast was the KNX Drama Hour, which I would try to catch from 2:00 – 3:00am. I absolutely loved it! They would play old radio shows from years gone by, including my all time favorite, “The Twilight Zone”.

It was a magical experience being a part of this strange and exotic world. With my eyes closed, I could see everything in my mind with incredible special effects! Nothing on TV or in the movies would ever come close.

Years later I became a licensed Amateur Radio Operator (Also known as a “Ham” radio operator), and along with my ability to listen to many interesting things, my new Callsign gave me permission to transmit my own signals with substantial power. In fact, on many frequencies I am allowed power levels as high as 1,500 watts. That’s enough to cook a turkey dinner on my antenna, and allows for worldwide communications without any dependence on any infrastructure of any type!

If you’ve never experienced such a thing, it is an amazing feeling to talk with a new friend in another country using your own gear and antennas. Most hams are able to do this without any dependency on commercial power, phone lines, internet connections or anything else. It makes us very valuable during emergencies when commercial services fail. Hams can still get their messages through.

Without fail, other hams have the same interests. We can talk for hours about electronics, radios, antennas, amplifiers, recievers, atmospheric conditions, weather, sunspots, and other things of interest to pretty much all hams.

Throughout my life, I have loved radio. It’s as close to real magic as anything gets. If you really think about it, it’s truly amazing. We have an ability to create something that travels as fast as light, goes through solid objects, and travels across huge distances instantly. It is invisible. You can’t feel it, or touch it, hear it, or taste it. Without a receiver, you would never know of its existence. But it’s there, and it carries pictures, sounds, voices, and information with incredible speed and efficiency.

Doesn’t that sound like magic?

If I could go back in time to explain the miracle of radio to people of old, who would have believed it? I’m sure they would think I was crazy. If I were to produce a working radio to prove my claims, they might have declared me a witch and burned me at the stake.

And yet today, radio technology is something that nearly everyone takes for granted — but not me.

Today, you don’t have to be a ham to participate in this amazing world. There are hundreds of shortwave broadcasters all around the world who broadcast to the public.

With a relatively affordable shortwave radio receiver you can tune in the universe. You can receive foreign broadcasts from all over the world. Radio Moscow, Radio Taiwan, the BBC (Not BBC America, but the real one!), China Radio International, Voice of America, Radio Australia, SW Radio Africa, Radio Canada and many, many more.

You can listen to coded messages intended for foreign diplomats and spies, or learn to speak a new language. Many international broadcasters broadcast in English at certain times of the day, and some offer special programs which are intended to teach their language. You can learn many things about other cultures and peoples, listen to their music, or hear about their way of life.

Sure you could use the Internet for many of these things, but the experience is not the same. The information takes on a unique and surreal property when you hear it directly. The signal fades and strengthens with the ionosphere, strange phase distortions give voices and music an ethereal airy sound. You hear static crashes from lightning strikes hundreds of miles away, and sometimes you can’t hear a thing. Other times, the band is wide open and it seems like the whole world is on your doorstep. It’s the greatest thing ever!

The world is at your fingertips — all you need is a radio!

I can tell you this from personal experience, blogging is hard — harder than a frozen crowbar.

It’s not easy finding inspiration and then slaving over words, worrying, fussing, revising; mindful of what an unseen reader will think.

But in all perfect honesty, I don’t know why anyone would care about my opinion or what I have experienced. We all have lives. We’re all busy. We all have our own experiences and views. What makes me think I’m special? What am I, some sort of expert? No. So why go through all the trouble to put myself out there?

Well…. The truth is, there are two things I wish for when I write. One is to get you to see things the way I do, and the other one, perhaps more important to me is, I want you to like me. Plain and simple. I don’t know why — I just do. It’s crazy! I’m such a dork!

But doesn’t everyone want to be recognized; to be appreciated? Doesn’t that just make me human?

So it’s Saturday afternoon, and I’m sitting with my computer fussing and wishing I were eloquent. But it’s no use today. Maybe another post on another day.

I’ve got to tell you, this blogging thing is hard.

Occasionally Google includes special modifications or funny features to it’s famous logo. These are called Google Doodles, and they usually commemorate special dates such as Holidays, or birthdays of noted people.

Eight years ago, on this date, 19 Al-Qaeda terrorists hijacked four commercial passenger jet airliners, and deliberately crashed them.

Two planes were crashed into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York. (Within two hours, both towers collapsed.)

The third plane crashed into the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, killing everyone on board in addition to 125 occupants of the Pentagon.

The fourth aircraft, which the hijackers had redirected toward Washington DC, crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania after the passengers attempted to re-take control of the plane. (All were killed)

In total 2,974 innocent people (not including the hijackers) died in the attacks.

Many people consider this to be the worst terrorist attack in US history, and I agree. Nearly all who died were innocent people going about their daily lives.

I will never forget that day, and the rippling effects of that tragic event are sill felt throughout this country today!

That’s why I find it surprising that, today of all days, Google’s logo remains fully stock and unchanged.

Michael Jackson got a Google Doodle for his Birthday (see it here), and Korean Liberation Day was commemorated with the very logo pictured at the top of this post. But Sept. 11  slips by without a nod. (?)

What’s up with that, Google?!?

Today, I did something different. I stepped out into my yard this afternoon, and witnessed nature in all its glory. A gorgeous spring day of brilliant color and sound—all laid out before me like an endless carpet woven of the very threads that make up life, earth, and light. I was taken aback. It was beautiful!

Then looking down at my feet, I was astonished to find that they were almost completely obscured by the very tall grass—and at that moment, inside my head, the voice of my thoughts said, “It’s mower time.” M.C. Hammer style.

And that’s where the challenge and I met for a battle.

My mower has seen better days, and after giving it a cursory inspection I remembered that last time I attempted to start the rusty old thing I found the ignition system in need of repair. Being late in the fall, I just put it away and figured I’d deal with it come spring. Well, thanks a lot Paul of the past, you ever-lovin slacker!

So, my nephew, Jay; and son, Ethan; and I, all went outside for some outdoor fun, and I began dis-assembly of the top half of the mower. After checking the ignition coil with my trusty digital multimeter I determined it to be electrically intact, and re-routed the “kill” wire, leaving it disconnected from the broken, cable-actuated, kill switch, but still externally available for future use, and Jay and I proceeded to partially reassemble, and check for spark. And spark there was! Good compression, timing, and spark—three of the four things needed for a functioning engine; the fourth being fuel.

To make a long story short, I refueled the Briggs and Stratton gasoline engine with some diesel fuel that I had forgotten was in the gas can, and complicated the repair process significantly.

But never fear, the Bozark is an expert on small engines, and we eventually got everything fixed up and working fine, and I, under the expert supervision of Jay and Ethan mowed the great, green, grassy lawn, making a ridiculous number of stops to empty the grass bag.

And I loved it! It was hard, but it felt so good! And now, when I step out on the porch, I am simply struck the beauty of spring—the warmth, the sun, the clear blue sky, and my newly cut lawn. I could be content to stand on the porch all day admiring it.

And it occurs to me that work is a blessing. What else brings such satisfaction as a job well done, and the knowing that you have added to the beauty of God’s creation, and the lives of your fellow men.

I hope that each of you are able to go forth, and with talent and vigor, make your mark on the world, and then bask in the reward.

It’s a great thing!

A friend of mine sent this to me today in an email, and I just had to pass it along, because it’s so dang cute!

I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be the President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”

Her parents beamed.

“Wow. . . what a worthy goal.” I told her, “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

The difference between me, and the author would probably have been that, when asked why the homeless guy doesn’t do the work, I would have probably replied, “Because he’s a democrat.”

It’s Martin Luther King Day today, and tomorrow, the United State’s first black president will be inaugurated.

Even though I strongly disagree with most of Barack Obama’s politics, I think it’s a true testament to the progress of civil rights in America.

At one time, black people were totally without rights in this country. Today, they are equal—a full panoply of rights at their command; including even the attainment of the highest political office in the land. It’s not just a theory any more—it’s a fact.

In that sense, the upcoming inauguration day will be an extra special one.

I’m happy for the black community, and excited for what this means to them.  I see people for who they are, and not the color of their skin, but I also recognize that the black community, for generations, has struggled for freedom, rights, and equality, and they deserve their day in the sun. Congratulations!

But next time, please, just not Obama!